I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
