sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
