Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
