Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
