Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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