In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My hand turned me down
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
