they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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