??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
