what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
