people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I need to calm my uterus...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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