When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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