i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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