Can i not drive my cunt home
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
