You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
