Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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