hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
