look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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