Don't you send me to vm
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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