TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
