I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
