Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
