I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you win again, gameday.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I currently don't understand fingers.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
