1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
