no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
