from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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