What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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