So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
