The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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