why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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