just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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