Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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