You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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