I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is it penis luge time yet?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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