dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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