yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
