I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
