Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
you had me at cake vodka
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
