I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
