Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
