I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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