did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
