i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
