Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
