I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
