NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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