You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
