I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
