you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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