i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
