those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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