So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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