but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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